It’s the week before hometowns, and we’ve come a long way from Champagne gate.
This was only one of multiple occurrences within this episode that highlighted how quickly things can evolve in the Bachelor world. In week 2, Kelsey and Hannah were at each other’s throats, making wild accusations about the other being a bully and a “champagne stealer,” respectively. And now here they are, exchanging the warmest of embraces.
To highlight another example – halfway into Peter’s date with Madison, he makes the following statement about her:
Then, later on during the same date he makes this revelation:
These moments happened a mere 15 minutes apart in the episode – granted, we’ll never know the EXACT timeline of when Peter’s confessional was taken, as it’s very possible that it was a pick-up shot slotted in to merely appear as if it barely preceded this date. But regardless of when it happened, we as an audience are taken on this journey that has the lead going from thinking about love to actually falling in it just one commercial break later.
Rewinding a bit, Madison’s day date is relatively uneventful, but during the evening she takes this opportunity to address her faith and its prevalence in her life.
Throughout the season, we have seen glimpses at Peter’s faith. Like many recent leads/contestants, he has inserted God into his conversations – never in a way that has made religion a true focal point, but enough to indicate that he did grow up with some degree of a sect of Christianity.
This conversation provides more insight into what degree that actually is – as he states, he was raised in a Christian household, but when it comes to present day practice his faith “could be stronger.” This admission is quickly followed by Peter’s reassurance that faith IS in fact important to him, even though it’s not an active part of his life, and that is apparently sufficient to visibly melt away all of Madison’s disappointment.
After this statement he immediately pivots to his admission that he’s falling in love with Madison, depicted above, and all discussion of faith is ceased. In Madison’s recap of the conversation, she claims that “the conversation didn’t go at all how I planned, but I guess way better.” This, to me, seems questionable. I mean, whether or not it was actually “way better” depends on what your desired outcome was. Was Madison hoping that Peter would admit to sharing the same level of passion and involvement when it comes to his personal faith? Because if so, this is a pretty disappointing outcome.
Let’s think about if this conversation was actually about having kids. One person goes into it saying “One of my biggest goals in life is to start a family, I feel like parenthood is going to be a truly defining moment in my life.” The other person listens respectfully then essentially says “Wow, I really respect that…I grew up with that goal as well, unfortunately it has fallen to the wayside a bit as I’ve developed other areas of my life. But I know that I love you.” Best case scenario, the feelings each person has for one another supersede their differing values, and both individuals are happy to meet somewhere in the middle for the benefit of the relationship. Worst case scenario, at least one person walks away feeling falsely confident that the other person’s love for them will eventually influence them to shift their own beliefs in the interest of making the relationship work.
But that is a deeper conversation to be had at another time, so for now we shift our focus over to the second one-on-one of the episode. I was SO glad that Natasha got date card before the end of Madison’s date. I can only imagine how hard it would be not to spiral while you’re sitting at home as the final dateless girl, especially as yet another girl is on her second one-on-one.
I love Natasha, but before their date I was having a hard time understanding why she was still there, because I hadn’t had an opportunity to view their interactions outside of group date moments. Unfortunately, it really is too little too late. As much as you may try to evaluate each relationship on an individual basis, it’s impossible to not at least compare them subconsciously. How can a relationship moving as slowly as Natasha’s even begin to stand up to one like Madison’s, when Madison has had the opportunity to get two days of quality time AND meet his family? Relationships, particularly in Bachelor Nation, are like sharks, in that they have to be moving forward.
For the record, I’m not saying by any means that I think Peter and Natasha would have been compatible in the long term, for a multitude of reasons…
But it does feel like any potential their relationship had was squandered by being placed into this tiny box – to use another subpar aquatic analogy, it’s almost akin to the old adage about goldfishes’ body mass potential being limited by the size of the tank they’re placed in.
In an effort to manage the inevitable anxiety caused by the looming hometown dates, the girls who are not on one-on-ones this week have resorted to solving math equations during their down time.
The “tonight” Hannah Ann is referring to brings us to our third consecutive one-on-one of the episode, with Kelsey. As with the first two, the day portion went out without a hitch – unless you count Peter committing to running to the top of this mountain before realizing he underestimated the elevation.
Honestly, they could have run to the very top and it truly would not have mattered, because you can never escape the cameras…even I am impressed by the fact that they were able to get such up-close shots, when this pan out shows absolutely no sign of them.
The dinner portion of Kelsey’s date was largely focused on her family history as a precursor to hometowns, and provided a lot of valuable insight into the complications of her current family dynamic. I’m glad that this date provided the opportunity to hear Peter addressing the idea of having a model parental relationship directly. In week 1 [LINK] I talked about how it felt like there was an assumption that the women whose parents have had successful, decades-long marriages were immediately set up for success because they had that example to live up to, which left an unspoken implication about those who didn’t have that background being less equipped for the stable relationships later on in life. But clearly that’s a case by case basis, and I’m glad Peter was able to say that to Kelsey.
I also really appreciated Kelsey’s defense of the standards she has set for herself – as someone who is at an age where many of my friends are either getting married, or in relationships that are clearly on the path towards marriage, it’s easy to look back and question past breakups, and to wonder if you should have continued to pursue things with the person who you weren’t excited about, but who could have made a stable, long-term partner. It’s empowering to see Kelsey stand by her decisions with such conviction.
Meanwhile, back at the house…
Between this riveting exchange and the litany of word equations seen earlier, it seems the producers have finally exhausted the girls’ capacity for meaningful situational commentary. In actuality, Kelley is just saving all of her hot takes for the confessionals, during which she mercilessly begins highlighting the girls’ shortcomings.
I mean…she’s not necessarily WRONG in all of her critiques. But it just gives off an air of entitlement that doesn’t come off well, and that we know for a fact Peter won’t appreciate.
In addition to coming across as entitled, we know enough about Peter to see that these things really don’t matter. As confident as Kelley is that she’ll be able to appeal to Peter’s logical side as the most viable selection for a long term partner, they clearly have different dealbreakers. Additionally, their view on how a relationship should progress seems to be fundamentally opposed:
Kelley’s approach here is very fair and logical, and outlines the way that an ideal, healthy relationship in its early stages would play out in the real world. But this is NOT the real world, this is the Bachelor. Also, even watching Peter’s reaction, or dare I say lack thereof as she’s making this pitch, show’s that this is not the pitch he is looking for.
Not only does Peter think relationships need to jump through hurdles in order to prove their substance, he wants his prospects to be doing full on emotional backflips in order to prove their investment – God forbid he actually have to trust his own judgment to determine if someone is right for him.
The following scene perfectly depicts Peter’s ideal expression of affection…
…which is then juxtaposed against Kelley’s laissez-faire approach to their relationship.
In an unsurprising but still disappointing move, Peter sends Kelley home at the end of the date. In the end, I just feel like in addition to being too level headed, Kelley was wise beyond her years, and apparently beyond Peter’s years as well.
After all of Peter’s insistence that he wants to be confident that he’s making the right decisions going into hometowns, we are left with Victoria F, who, from what we’ve seen, has yet to reveal any substantial information about her family. Instead, EVERY SINGLE DATE has been a reiteration of the same pattern – tears, expressed doubt in Peter’s interest in her, then fleeing and waiting for him to chase after her for validation. If there is anything to be learned from this, it’s that you shouldn’t beat yourself up for ruining a relationship because of something you did. If a guy truly likes you then he will continue to pursue you in spite of that. Mid-breakup I once had a guy literally tell me that at the start of our relationship I could have “farted in his face and he wouldn’t have smelled it.” Victoria F’s antics are the emotional equivalent of that.
On that romantic note…
Frontrunners
As far as Peter’s preferences, it truly feels like anyone’s game at this point. As Kelley says:
Chopping Block
Madison – By self elimination
Outstanding Questions
Only time will tell, Victoria. Only time will tell.
