Me tuning in for another week of the Bachelor like…
Honestly, I’m not sure who is more upset at this point – Deandra after getting sent home despite her declaration that she’s wifey material, or me when I realized I’d have FIVE hours of content to watch in the span of a week.
Without getting too “woe is me” about recaps that I, and only I, volunteered myself to write, episodes 5 and 6 were the point at which I fell truly behind. That being said, I do intend to write these from the perspective that I had at the time of viewing, without layering in any additional insights from whatever ensued in the weeks that followed. However, that proves difficult when I revisit my initial notes and make the realization that I had written NOTHING about Alayah. It’s like when you send the guy you’re dating a text that includes multiple questions, and he miraculously replies to all of them except the one where you ask for confirmation he’ll accompany you at your friend’s baby shower.
Sadly, it’s impossible to craft a true recap without addressing this, so here we go.
Do I sense a new franchise tagline??? Used in a sentence – “Alayah’s ultimate downfall was triggered by the fact that the other women in the house felt that she did not stay in her lane.”
The previous episode recap and my clear aversion to writing about Alayah any more than I have to are enough to demonstrate that I’m not exactly the biggest fan. In spite of that, I call bullshit on her not staying in her lane being used as justification for the women to pile on her. Victoria F’s comment about how this behavior was “the prime of last season” is incorrectly cited, as “stay in your lane” originated from Hannah’s (B, not Ann, for clarification) request demand that the men focus on their personal relationship with her, rather than taking the time to drag other contestants during their 1:1 time. Victoria F is actually chastising Alayah with a reference to behavior that Alayah was the victim of. None of this drama would have exploded if Sydney hadn’t alerted Peter to little more than a concern that Alayah doesn’t work enough and has too high-pitched of a voice, which subsequently sent Peter on a fact finding mission that spiraled out of control.
The women become so worked up and shrill while throwing out accusations leading up to the Rose Ceremony that it feels like a legitimate reenactment of Mean Girls.
At this point it’s completely unoriginal to call Peter stupid. And yet, it must also be reiterated here – this was truly stupid. He got nothing from bringing Alayah back into the house, except for a barrage of women who now feel “disrespected.” It would be one thing if he stirred up this controversy with her return for the sake of getting additional 1:1 time with her that provided him the clarity that he needed. Instead, he wound up re-eliminating her almost immediately for the same reasons he spoke out against just one episode ago – hearsay and drama. Based on how all of this ends, Peter could end up with no one and Alayah could be “the one who got away.” Or she could make yet another surprise return and go down in history as the only contestant in recent history to stump Reality Steve. Only time will tell.
Since Alayah is sent home before the cocktail party, rest of the night unfolds in a relatively uneventful manner. Honestly the only real surprise of the rose ceremony is how buff Shiann’s arms are.
Well, unless you’re Deandra, as shown above.
For the past two seasons of the Bachelor, I’ve started the season off being immensely attracted to the lead. I was super into Colton during Becca’s season, and Peter was actually my night one standout during Hannah B’s. In both cases, the season transpired and I found myself increasingly disappointed by the decisions they made, specifically as it pertains to the clear favoritism they display towards women who have been depicted as poor choices, from my perspective. It seems that there is a direct negative correlation between my disdain for the Bachelors’ decision-making and my attraction towards them, until all thirst for them inevitably evaporates. Clearly at this point in the season I’m already extremely annoyed by Peter, because in this scene I saw him as little more than a clumsy, dad joke telling nerd wearing an Ann Taylor button down.
Like…the source of my week one speculation [LINK] was really you hitting your head against a drinking glass? That you were holding in YOUR OWN HAND?? Even the Producers were like “America’s going to need to see this to believe it.”
Before I dole out too much praise for my attraction being driven solely by character, I have to remind myself that I am still attracted to Nick Viall, so maybe the real issue is that I have an affinity for fuckboys…but that’s a discussion for another time.
Luckily for Peter, the girls in the house seem to be less jaded by his shenanigans, and are not only not fed up with the flight-themed double entendres, they’re fully on board (see what I did there??).
On the surface, Sydney’s date was honestly pretty boring. Aside from Peter foolhardily telling her she’s the best kisser, there wasn’t anything super memorable that happened. But then, the episode cuts to the house mid-date as the remaining girls determine who will be getting a 1:1, and Kelley makes the realization that it will be her then confesses the following:
Obviously this show is bizarre for many reasons, but one that has always stood out to me is the pressure to reveal your deepest darkest traumas and secrets as soon as possible, lest the lead think that you have intimacy issues. I have two major issues with this. Most obviously, this is not the way most normal relationships progress, unless you begin dating someone who may have had some insight into those issues beforehand due to a prior history. My other issue is within the context of the show specifically, as there is the open expectation that the dinner portion of the date is your time to “open up,” and “share your story.” To put it in Peter-specific terms, it’s time to “show your heart.”
Cutting back to Sydney’s date, she does not disappoint, and begins to justify her “mysterious” nature by explaining how she has been through “a lot” in her life, starting with her parents’ divorce. I have written in-depth already about how this series really puts people with married parents on a giant pedestal [LINK], but it stood out to me again here. I am in no means trivializing how traumatic divorce is – the idea of having to go through that is one of my worst nightmares (and I watched Marriage Story), and I remember the shame and inner turmoil I went through when my own parents separated while I was in high school. However, I need to take a step back now to quote that oft-stated but rarely cited stat – 50% of marriages end in divorces. If that is really the case, then Peter’s family situation with a mom and dad who are still together three decades later is JUST as likely as Sydney’s situation where she was largely raised by a single mom. So why does this series insist on painting the former situation as this coveted beacon of virtue while the latter is portrayed as the ultimate failing, as if both fell within the 1% of matrimony outcomes? Long story short – unless you discovered that your dad had been hiding a secret family for the first 18 years of your life, your parents’ relationship status alone is not enough to justify a “mysterious” nature.
Then, we get to Sydney’s recollection of her high school years, during which she had to eat lunch in the bathroom. I truly don’t know what to think about this in the wake of allegations that she misrepresented this situation in recounting it to Peter – maybe she ate lunch in the bathroom one time before having a Cady Heron-esque rise to popularity, or maybe she truly was bullied while simultaneously being fetishized for her looks alone. Either way, it seems like a shame that a whole online debate and eventual backlash had to arise simply because of the pressures this franchise ultimately puts on having a defining moment.
It seems rare to have an episode that airs amidst some form of backlash against not one, not TWO, but THREE occurrences, but here we are, immediately following Sydney’s contested 1:1 claims with the now archived Cosmo photoshoot, , complete with the Microsoft Paint bikini bottom cover-up.
Also, have to give credit to Sharleen Joynt for her amazing catch of the most awkward juxtaposition of unnecessary censorship alongside a careless lack of censorship, made all the more awkward by this subsequent interaction.
Moving on to Kelsey, it’s safe to say that this show is not necessarily the best environment for her.
It’s also safe to say she was caught drunk on camera during this rant about Sydney:
That being said, Tammy’s accusations of Kelsey are unnecessarily rough.
Whether or not Kelsey cries too much, there’s no reason why Tammy should be SO impacted that she feels it’s bleeding into her relationship with Peter. Certainly there is some drama that you can’t seem to extricate yourself from despite a lack of direct involvement, because it’s in the producers’ best interest to continue generating in-house conversation around that topic. And unfortunately, champagne-gate did fall into that category.
But that is in the past, so it seems that Tammy should be able to easily remove herself from these interactions with Kelsey going forward, if they’re truly talking the toll she says. Then when it comes to the drinking accusations, I call bullshit. Maybe Kelsey drinks more than Tammy personally would, but I don’t buy the statement that she is concerned for Kelsey’s well being. The amount someone drinks should only pose an issue if they’re becoming belligerent and destructive to the house- amplified emotions alone are a side effect that’s easy enough to avoid. I’m truly disappointed to see that yet another one of my early opinions has served to diminish my credibility as a judge of contestants’ character and potential – Tammy is not the DGAF bro she painted herself to be in the earlier episodes, she too has revealed herself to have mean girl tendencies.
While I’ve certainly hammered home my feelings about the forced vulnerability of this series, I have to revisit it in my recap of Kelley’s date. Kelley entered this as a frontrunner, due to her coincidental pre-show encounter with Peter. While we have minimal details around what happened during said encounter, I feel pretty confident making the assumption that it wasn’t much more than an intoxicated night of flirty dancing that stopped significantly shy of divulging three generations of family secrets. Crazy how the fun and easy nature of this initial meeting can be portrayed by Peter as “fate” early on, only for the pressures of this environment to eventually cause their relationship to shift as Peter interprets her more laidback approach to mean she’s not taking their relationship seriously enough.
Conversely to Peter, my love of Kelley only grows as the season progresses. I love that she starts out by setting an intention of determining if she’s actually into Peter while on this date.
It’s so easy to get caught up in wanting someone to like us because they’re objectively seen as a “catch,” without actually stepping back and evaluating if their perception among others is enough to translate into interest on your end.
I also love that Kelley called Peter out – the concern that he’s rewarding the drama is a valid one.
Later on in the date, we get to hear Peter voice why he’s so hesitant about Kelley:
So in spite of the litany of positive qualities he sees in Kelley, they cannot overshadow the fact that she hasn’t expressed her emotions to the degree that he wants her to. He reiterates this desire again not long afterwards:
It finally makes sense why Peter is rewarding the drama, and the overly aggressive pursuit. I didn’t think about this before, but Peter was burned by someone who he had an arguably very solid connection with- someone who picked him as a top 3 candidate and who likely had more chemistry with him than with anyone else, yet who still chose TWO other men ahead of him. Of course he’s going to have a complex about that, and is going to consequentially reward women who assure him in some way that he doesn’t have to worry about being that third choice yet again. The girl who interrupts during every group date is in a way, providing that reassurance. So is the girl who sneaks away to his suite before the rose ceremony to communicate her intentions, which in this case, comes full circle back to Kelsey.
I’m sure Peter is focused solely on the fact that he’s rewarding Kelsey for her vulnerability by giving her a spontaneous rose, but I hate that he put her in this position. If he felt confident keeping her around, he could have easily articulated that in his villa and then saved the rose for the ceremony that night, rather than forcing her to carry confirmation that she skirted the rules to see him. Especially when he then subsequently decided to make the decision that is dreaded by all women- to cancel the rose ceremony. Now Kelsey’s rose serves as a visual reminder of the time they’re not going to get with him. The tensions in the house are so high that poor Kelsey’s voice is shaking when she tries to explain her decision.
I can honestly see why she’s terrified – after Chris Harrison announces the cancelled rose ceremony Mykenna is on the verge of revealing that she’s actually one of the aliens from Men in Black.
I can’t with Mykenna. First of all, put your tongue away. Second of all, I’ve noticed that every time she mentions her fears about getting sent home, they’re centered around a fear that Peter will miss out on getting to see how amazing she is. Nothing about wanting to get to know him more as a person.
It’s been a while since we’ve gotten a pre-rose ceremony interruption like Tammy’s, but I don’t think any of the previous discussions have taken place just feet from where the ceremony is supposed to take place, with all of the girls able to watch. By the time Mykenna interrupts, it feels like this rose ceremony has just devolved into another group date. Respect to Madison for taking the initiative to sit down rather than kill her feet
It actually was sad to see Lexi and Shiann go home- the fact that so many girls were crying while saying their goodbyes to Lexi shows that they really did form a genuine friendship, and I think Shiann had the same bonds. Then just when I thought I couldn’t draw any more parallels between Peter’s season and Colton’s, Shiann wraps up the episode with this classic Bachelor bombshell as she’s leaving:
Outstanding Questions
- What did Mykenna have to share with Peter tonight – was it really so important, or was it just more of this:
- Who is more annoying? Tammy, for being the first one to jump at the opportunity to turn the rose ceremony into a cocktail party, or Mykenna for seeing this opportunity and saying “ooh, me too!”
- Could I hate Mykenna any more?
The answer to all these questions, and more…in next week’s Wednesday’s episode.
