This week, on Love is Blinding…
We start off the episode with Peter reuniting with his family to recap the experience, and Barb (I feel like I’m on a first name basis with her after this journey) asks a somewhat peculiar question right off the bat:
To me, this exact question would only exist in Bachelor Nation. I can’t imagine my mom jumping straight to this before asking how I felt about the person in question – or I guess in this scenario, the people in question. And when the topic of their feelings was finally broached, I imagine it would be framed more along the lines of “How do you think they feel about you?” vs. “Have they verbalized their love for you?” The latter feels very much like a question derived from a Bachelor contestant checklist, especially given how literally it was phrased in this scenario.
Then again, there is a lot about Peter’s communication with his parents that doesn’t exactly align with my personal experience. They’re like the cool parents who encourage you to speak openly about your sex life, as demonstrated as early as Hannah B’s after the final rose when his mom practically fist bumped him for fucking four times in a windmill. Unsurprisingly, Barb isn’t thrilled to learn that Madison is doing anything to discourage Peter from getting it in.
This family is clearly very concerned with whether or not Peter is getting laid…
…but eventually his brother provides the reassurance that ultimately, they trust his judgement in whatever decision Peter makes.
Hannah Ann meets the family first, and she THE MOST in her feelings right off the bat. Her stated goal was to communicate to his family “that girl loves our son,” and to know that “this is coming from such a sincere place,” even acknowledging the fact that they might not even wind up liking her. Much like Barb’s inquiry into each girl’s proclamation of love, this too feels like a very Bachelor-specific approach. In my experiences meeting a boyfriend’s parents, my concerns have always been the opposite. Who cares if the parents can see that you love their son if they decide that they can’t stand you and don’t want them marrying into the family? My priority has always been to be the most likable version of myself, and demonstrate that I care about forming relationships with them to supplement the relationship I already have with their son. I suppose there are different concerns on the table when you’re meeting a guy’s parents as a part of a show that has generated a reputation for having contestants who are there “for the wrong reasons.”
As it turns out, Barb’s priorities for Peter align perfectly with Hannah Ann’s approach:
When Hannah Ann finally departs, Barb is SO sold on her that she states “I feel like I’ve known you all my life” – a sentiment that I feel is being conflated with Barb’s feeling that Hannah Ann fits into the perfect doting daughter-in-law mold that she has always envisioned for Peter.
Moving on to Madison, she represents the opposite of Hannah Ann when it comes to certainty in their relationship status. If we’ve learned only two things about Peter over the course of this entire season, it’s that 1. He just wants someone (anyone!) to want him as badly as he wants them, and 2. He’s not looking for a relationship that’s always easy, and certainly not one that’s “fun.” Hannah Ann certainly checks the first box for him, but Madison meets the second criteria, and provides an opportunity for them to overcome something together that he can later look back on as proof of the strength of their relationship. Assuming he’s really as equally torn between these two women as he claims to be, his eventual decision will be somewhat of a reflection of which of the two he actually values more.
Prior to actually meeting Peter’s parents, Peter and Madison sit down to discuss where their relationship stands in light of Peter’s…indiscretions.
Peter’s initial response is to insist that he understands where Madison is coming from, but immediately after he goes on the defensive, justifying his actions by stating that she’s the “only person” who hasn’t let him know how she feels. Initially I was merely annoyed by this statement. Clearly I have somewhat mixed feelings [LINK] on Madison’s choice to put Peter in this position, so it’s not like I have an issue with him defending the decision to sleep with other people as a whole. But to imply that he simply had to sleep with the other two because they were a sure thing seems like a weak argument considering that moments before this discussion he claimed that he would be willing to do anything to make things work with Madison.
After another moment of reflection, I was pissed. In the midst of recounting her feelings, Madison said “if he gets down on one knee right now, like I’m saying yes, like I want to spend the rest of my life with him.” So for Peter to then turn around 30 seconds later and claim that he doesn’t know how she feels is bullshit. What he really means is “Well, you haven’t told me that you love me and Hannah Ann has, sooo…. 🤷♂️”
Peter emphatically states that he’s been in Madison’s “exact shoes.” Umm, Madison is a virgin who decided to forgo the fantasy suite entirely. You fucked four times in a windmill. You are not the same.
Peter and Madison do undoubtedly have a multitude of lifestyle differences that would have to be addressed over the course of a long term relationship. But in this present moment the issue seems to be solely within Madison as she comes to terms with Peter’s actions. Peter can’t go back in time to reverse his actions in the fantasy suites, and it is therefore up to HER to look within herself and decide if she can or cannot get over the fact that he didn’t respect her wishes.
Madison’s recitation of whatever family creed this is apparently serves as sufficient motivation for her to move forward with the relationship, because she does end up deciding to move forward with meeting Peter’s parents.
Additionally, she essentially admits that she loves Peter, which is clearly a trump card from his perspective. Yet it’s clear that not all is truly forgiven based on Madison’s clear reluctance to kiss him.
When Peter and Madison do finally make it inside, the tone is distinctively different from Hannah Ann’s visit, with Peter Sr. acutely describing it as “strained.” Even if Madison and Peter had put on a happy, united front (which I’m not saying they should have, given how inauthentic it would have been under these conditions), it would be impossible for them to avoid added scrutiny given Peter’s earlier revelation. Who’s to say whether his decision to divulge that information was a fatal mistake – I personally wouldn’t have chosen to address any relationship concerns that are sexual in nature with family, but my mom also doesn’t believe in blow jobs, so I suppose my opinion should be taken with a grain of salt.
While Madison did tell Peter’s parents upfront that she is in love with him, there was a notable difference in the way that she discussed their relationship. Hannah Ann stated her love and desire to be with Peter in no uncertain terms, as if there was nothing that Peter could do to sway her decision. Madison, on the other hand, makes it clear that while she does love him, there are standards that Peter needs to meet before she can be sure that they are meant to spend the rest of their lives together. She wants to ensure that he’s happy and winds up with the partner who is best suited for him, but recognizes that there is a chance that might not be her at the end of this.
This is SO commendable, and such a heathy, secure way to approach any relationship. If you value yourself, then you shouldn’t be willing to accept less from a long term partner, no matter how much you love them. But as we soon learn, healthy attachment styles aren’t really Barb’s jam.
By the end of both visits the family has made no effort to hide the fact that Hannah Ann is their clear favorite, and I am officially the WORST at these predictions because I was convinced beyond belief that Peter’s mom was talking about Madison. Turns out, Madison is too much of a square for Peter’s cool parents.
For what it’s worth, Peter’s family does make a temporary attempt to put their feelings aside in favor of learning his, by re-enacting a Boost Mobile ad:
Can Peter even bring Madison home at this point? It would take such a strong person to overcome this and form a solid relationship with his family after knowing that his mom literally burst into tears at the thought of her son choosing you over another woman she likes better. Peter says he’s the one who would spend the rest of his life with her, and no one else, but while that may be true on the day to day, you can’t ignore those major holidays when your family is rolling their eyes because Madison is forcing everyone to join hands and bless the meal.
Unfortunately for Barb, the family’s insistence did little to lessen Peter’s affection for Madison. If anything, it may have pushed him even closer to her, as their opposition is now just another hurdle for them to overcome in their pursuit of an epic love story.
However, it’s too late from Madison’s perspective, and she eventually comes to the conclusion that there are too many differences in their lifestyles and beliefs for things to work out long term. Or maybe she just decided that she didn’t want Barb as a mother-in-law. Whatever the rationale, she’s out.
Earlier in the episode I was wondering how Madison could proceed with a relationship after seeing the behind-the-scenes of Peter’s family reaction. Now my concern shifts to Hannah Ann, who is clearly second in Peter’s heart, at least as he processes his break-up with Madison. It would take an incredible amount of security, and honestly some naivety as well, to move forward without some degree of fear that you were the second choice who he selected only by default.
Despite having a lengthy discussion about their feelings for one another, Peter doesn’t ever admit that Madison left. But that doesn’t prevent Hannah Ann from telling that something is off just by looking into his eyes, because #love.
Frontrunner:
Hannah Ann
…I guess.
Outstanding Questions
- Does everyone just call Peter “Bud” now?
- Does Peter plan to tell Hannah Ann that Madison left, or did she find out the week that this aired like the rest of us??
- Now that I realize Peter lives at home it gives Barb’s infamous “bring her home to us” moment some new perspective…does Barb expect Peter’s fiancé to live with them? For their sake, I certainly hope not…
