92. How NOT To Pick Up Women (From an ex-PUA)

This week Ryan Black pulls back the curtain on the motives of pick up artists – why they neg, casual sex (and why it’s NOT a flex in this case), and their apparent nightclub obsession. He opens up about his own dating journey from prepubescence to present day and how it led him into the PUA community, and the true confidence and self-acceptance he’s found since divorcing the game.

TRIGGER WARNING at 1:02:20 (gun violence & suicide mention)

To make things Instagram official : @interstatesandheartbreak

For dating commentary from my inner Carrie : interstatesandheartbreak.com

For any questions, business inquiries, or love letters : interstatesandheartbreak@gmail.com

For a glimpse into my life when I’m not talking about dating : @lesliegnope

91. If He Wanted To…Would He?

Jon Birger joins me on this week’s episode to discuss shooting your shot – and I’m not talking about March Madness. We discuss his latest book, Make Your Move: The New Science of Dating, to break down what women stand to gain from asking men out. We analyze the sexist “science” that informs traditional dating gender roles, and the evolution into modern philosophies of “If he wanted to, he would.” Jon also critiques my own feeble attempts at shooting my shot in years prior, and explains how meeting on Hinge impacts the likelihood of long term success with my current boyfriend.

To order Make Your Move or invite Jon to your book club : jonbirger.com

For more of Jon’s musings on modern dating dynamics : @jon_birger1

To make things Instagram official : @interstatesandheartbreak

For dating commentary from my inner Carrie : interstatesandheartbreak.com

For any questions, business inquiries, or love letters : interstatesandheartbreak@gmail.com

For a glimpse into my life when I’m not talking about dating : @lesliegnope

90. Tinder Swindler Schaudenfreude

Today I’m here solo to discuss reality dating shows and why they have such a hold on us. I analyze how my relationship to Love is Blind and The Bachelor is analogous to and old school Playboy Magazine, and dive into how The Tinder Swindler recently rounded out my trifecta of dating content consumption. I raise all the red flags – both those that foreshadowed the swindler victims’ downfall AND the ones that would be showcased in a dating documentary about my own life, raising the question – am I myself Tinder Swindlable? Oh, and Google teaches me how to correctly pronounce “schadenfreude” on air.

To email me your dating show reality thoughts, or your own PERSONAL dating horror stories : interstatesandheartbreak@gmail.com

To make things Instagram official : @interstatesandheartbreak

For dating commentary from my inner Carrie : @interstatesandheartbreak on TikTok

For a glimpse into my life when I’m not talking about dating : @lesliegnope

89. Love is Blurry

Today I pull out the gold wine glasses with the ladies of Dope Shit My Therapist Says podcast return to discuss the Love is Blind season 2 finale and reunion. We dive into all of our unfiltered thoughts about the cast – from unofficial therapy diagnoses, to villain “edits,” to the couples we stan (and the breakups we stanned more). Most importantly, I share why the reunion inspired me to withdraw my shade around “I’m Nick Lachey, OBVIOUSLY,” and “My fiancé is hot like Beyoncé.”

For self care in the form of affirmations and validation for all your therapeutic indulgences : @dopeshttherapypod

To hear more dope shit from the perspective of two practicing therapists : Dope Sh*t My Therapist Says podcast

Or email them directly at: dopeshttherapypod@gmail.com

To make things Instagram official : @interstatesandheartbreak

For dating commentary from my inner Carrie : interstatesandheartbreak.com

For any questions, business inquiries, or love letters : interstatesandheartbreak@gmail.com

For a glimpse into my life when I’m not talking about dating : @lesliegnope

88. You’re Toxic, I’m Slipping Under

This week I interview Gabi Conti, author of Twenty Guys You Date In Your Twenties, and host of Am I Dating A Serial Killer podcast. Before diving into serial killers, we discuss serial dating – from lessons learned, to how going on thirty (yes, THIRTY) dates in one weekend indirectly led to meeting her husband. Gabi dives into how to avoid stranger danger on the apps, and we share our personal experiences of what NOT to do. We close with a discussion around self-proclaimed narcissist Che Diaz, and other pop culture icons with questionable personality traits.

To relive Gabi’s Andi Anderson-level dating escapades : @itsgabiconti

To read about the Twenty Guys You Date in Your Twenties, or if you’ve ever asked yourself “Am I Dating A Serial Killer” : gabiconti.com

To make things Instagram official : @interstatesandheartbreak

For dating commentary from my inner Carrie : interstatesandheartbreak.com

For any questions, business inquiries, or love letters : interstatesandheartbreak@gmail.com

For a glimpse into my life when I’m not talking about dating : @lesliegnope

87. Insecure…ly Attached

Marla Goldstein of G-Spot Coaching joins the podcast to discuss your body’s biggest sexual organ – the brain. We dive into her mission to help women find emotionally available partners, and identify the early online and IRL red flags that signal someone is emotional UNavailable. We then dissect the attachment styles and their correlation to availability, while analyzing our own attachment tendencies (along with every Love is Blind cast member’s).

To see Marla’s personal dating app game in action : @gspotcoaching

To let NPR psychoanalyze your dating style : NPR Attachment Style Quiz

To make things Instagram official : @interstatesandheartbreak

For dating commentary from my inner Carrie : interstatesandheartbreak.com

For any questions, business inquiries, or love letters : interstatesandheartbreak@gmail.com

For a glimpse into my life when I’m not talking about dating : @lesliegnope

86. Daters and Clout Chasers

This week I interview the Carrie B of Gen Z – author, actress, and influencer Carrie Berk. She candidly recaps her recent experience on the reality show Next Influencer, and how the show reinforced her decision to start dating outside of the influencer bubble. We dissect the male influencer f-boy archetype and the downsides that come with it, ranging from thirst traps to Snapchats. Carrie also pulls back the curtain on the clout chasers and love bombers that come along with so-called glamorous side of dating when you DO have a blue checkmark.

To follow the modern day Carrie Bradshaw : @carrieberkk

For the first scoop on Carrie’s upcoming book : www.carrieberk.com

To make things Instagram official : @interstatesandheartbreak

For dating commentary from my inner Carrie : interstatesandheartbreak.com

For any questions, business inquiries, or love letters : interstatesandheartbreak@gmail.com

For a glimpse into my life when I’m not talking about dating : @lesliegnope

85. WE WERE ON A BREAK (w/my boyfriend Michael)

This Valentine’s Day I interview none other than my boyfriend to fully dive into the ups and downs of our relationship to date. We discuss how we got together, spanning everything from the lie I told him when we first started talking, a first date that was nearly cancelled night of, and a risque and poorly-timed DTR discussion. From there, Michael admits to sliding back in for an unintentional Valentine’s Day rekindling in 2021, and what broke us up in the first place. The episode closes with Michael’s answers to listener submitted questions (plus a few bonuses thrown in by me).

For a rare glimpse of Michael on my Instagram : @lesliegnope

To make things Instagram official : @interstatesandheartbreak

For dating commentary from my inner Carrie : interstatesandheartbreak.com

For any questions, business inquiries, or love letters : interstatesandheartbreak@gmail.com

84. I’m Sorry. I Can’t. Don’t Hate Me.

This week Liana Pavane and I discuss modern breakups more realistic than Che Diaz’s “two-FaceTime” story. She shares how a phone call breakup drove her to break out of toxic dating patterns and explore a “selfship” before getting back out there. We discuss why you need to create your own closure, and concrete steps towards to recovering from a breakup. On the flip side, we outline how to execute good breakup etiquette in regards to timing, location, and depth of explanation – and reflect on our past experiences that served as examples of what NOT to do.

For more modern day ghost stories : @ghosts_ofdatespast

For IRL connections (and to cut down on your screen time) : ttylnyc.com

For all of Liana’s dating insights and resources : lianapavane.com

To make things Instagram official : @interstatesandheartbreak

For dating commentary from my inner Carrie : interstatesandheartbreak.com

For any questions, business inquiries, or love letters : interstatesandheartbreak@gmail.com

For a glimpse into my life when I’m not talking about dating : @lesliegnope

83. Two Drink Max (and Other Dating Rules) w/Lindsey Metselaar

This week I’m joined by Lindsey Metselaar of We Met At Acme podcast to discuss the harsh dating truths she learned in her 20s. She confesses to past cringe dating behaviors, like drinking too much or lingering for too long after an early sleepover. We go over the dating rules she now swears by, and how they impact gender dynamics around paying for dates, sleeping with a new partner, and making the first move.

When your group chat’s dating advice isn’t cutting it: wemetatacme.com

To join in on my poll question addiction : @wemetatacme

To make things Instagram official : @interstatesandheartbreak

For dating commentary from my inner Carrie : interstatesandheartbreak.com

For any questions, business inquiries, or love letters : interstatesandheartbreak@gmail.com

For a glimpse into my life when I’m not talking about dating : @lesliegnope

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