One of my toxic traits has come to light this week – my hesitation to say something during a fight for fear of saying the wrong thing, or of it being misconstrued, or not expressing myself in an articulate way. But this time the conflict isn’t just a couples’ fight – it’s one that seemingly dwarfs everything that felt significant just one week prior, and that’s arguably even more personal to my fiancé. The result has been unprecedented dialogues, which have made me hyper conscious of the emotional impact of your very identity falling under explicit attack and increased scrutiny.
Unfortunately, many of us have experienced this to some degree – but almost certainly not at this scale, and not in a scenario that connects us directly to those under physical threat. While it can feel uncomfortable, if you have people in your life who you believe may be hurting as a result of the conflict in Israel and the resulting civilian tragedies, this is a reminder to reach out and make it known that you’re there as a resource or an ear, whether to discuss the state of affairs, or just to serve as a distraction, understanding that everyone’s capacity to actively engage in dialogue is understandably varied at this time.
Finally, for fear of sounding cringy – remember to give yourself grace if you’re still educating yourself, as I certainly am. Undoubtedly, there will be moments when you discover blind spots you didn’t even realize you had, or when you don’t feel like you’re framing a question in the most eloquent ways, or when you find yourself turning to relatively insignificant (or downright vapid) sources of entertainment or media as a distraction. Love is Blind, I’m raising a gold wine glass in your particular direction.
