IT’S FINALLY HERE, our chance to answer the question we’ve all been wondering about:
In all seriousness, I have NEVER been this excited for a finale. All the disappointment I felt when my plans for the night of the finale were cancelled melted away as soon as I heated up my soup, put on my robe, and sank into the couch. Usually the season is either accidentally spoiled for me, or I have a sneaking and eventually confirmed suspicion that the lead is going to choose the most boring contestant of the season (I’m looking at you, Ben and Arie). But tonight…my questions are unrelenting. Why is Kelley there? Is she a red herring, or was her AFTR “snub” necessary because she is actually the one he chooses??? Time to dive in and find out.
Hannah Ann is the last one left (for now), which has two interesting effects:
- We get to see Peter FaceTime her dad to ask for his permission beforehand
- Hannah Ann apparently gets confused and assumes they’re skipping the proposal and going straight to the wedding
Um, this is probably the most sensible reaction she COULD have. Not everyone is Mark from Love is Blind, and willing to blatantly ignore the fact that the love of their life was hung up on someone else immediately before they agreed to get engaged to you.
Hannah Ann mostly gets the proposal she was hoping for, but I have to think it’s slightly tainted when the guy starts off by revealing this is essentially his default decision by process of elimination.
Peter’s mom literally refuses to show any sign of emotion at news of his engagement until she knows it’s her preferred choice.
Like…how would she have reacted if he revealed it was Madison? Would she have stormed out of the room?? At the very least we know there would have been tears, it’s basically the emotional equivalent of “win or lose, we still booze.”
While it doesn’t quite justify the extent of Peter’s mom’s emotions, Barbara’s ecstatic claim that she can’t wait to see her daughter does provide helpful context- this woman has been dying to have a daughter, and she’ll be damned if her son fucks it up by bringing home a square who won’t even indulge in wine nights with her.
Sadly, but unsurprisingly, this doesn’t work out because Peter is still hung up on not just one, but potentially TWO other women, as Hannah Ann later reveals that Peter reached out to Hannah B between their engagement and their eventual demise. Honestly, Peter did Hannah Ann a favor. Which woman wants to date a 28-year-old man who lives at home in a house with a full-sized photobooth??
Hannah Ann really let Peter have it:
And then she clinched it with this line from the next film in the TATBILB trilogy- To All The FUCKboys I’ve Loved Before:
Maybe it was harsh, and it certainly was driven by emotion. But Peter needs to be on the receiving end of that emotion. Guys in general seem to have a hard time being painted as the bad guy in a situation- I personally feel like it’s why so many of them are adamant about “being friends” after a breakup. Whether or not they really intend to maintain a friendship with you, just the knowledge that there are “no hard feelings” is enough to mentally absolve them of any guilt. I don’t think Peter is an inherently bad guy. Quite the contrary, I think he has a good heart at his core. But being seen as a nice guy his whole life probably makes him even more susceptible to this cognitive dissonance when someone does finally express displeasure over something he does. Being forced to accept ownership is important, and I respect Hannah Ann for not glossing over this situation.
Whether or not this was meant to be cutting, the savagery continues with Barbara CLAPPING during the moment when Hannah Ann dumps him on screen.
At this point I wouldn’t be surprised if she just sidestepped Peter and adopted Hannah Ann into the family.
In case the on-screen breakup wasn’t juicy enough, the finale just dives into full Jerry Springer level drama from this point forward. Hannah Ann forgoes the typical route of a cold, but cordial runner-up/lead exchange in favor of dragging him across the stage in front of a live audience.
I also have to call bullshit on Peter’s “how could I just let you walk away” argument. If he were fully concerned with how this would have impacted Hannah Ann, he would have been upfront with the extent of his feelings for Madison and admitted that he wasn’t in a place to get engaged just yet. He could have still dated her, and given them time to progress their relationship somewhat normally while he ensured he was truly ready to make a long term commitment. But that would have been risky, as there is a chance that Hannah Ann would have pulled a Rachel Lindsay and said “proposal or bust.” So instead he withheld the full truth, and gave her what he knew she wanted in that moment with no regard for the long term consequences that it would have for both of them.
If you ask Peter’s mom, he’s actually made a million and two with his decision to rekindle things with Madison.
In this moment I would have committed to rewatching this entire train wreck of a season all over again just to hear what Barbara whispered:
Fortunately, I don’t have to commit to that, because Barbara did NOT hide her feelings.
I was already concerned about how Madison was going to navigate a relationship with Peter’s parents after simply watching part one of the finale. Now, I can’t even imagine. Barbara went from being a ball of emotions to a stone cold bitch right before our eyes.
I honestly don’t think Madison handled this situation as well as the audience applause made it seem. In no way was I rooting for her to be attacked on TV in this way. However, a simple apology in response to Barbara’s frustrations over how their first meeting went would have gone a long way, and probably would have de-escalated the situation before it reached this point. I personally am no fan of apologizing when you feel like you’re in the wrong. Ironically, the very night I watched this I had a call with my mom during which she implored me to dole out what I felt was an unwarranted (but eventually delivered) apology. The moral being, if Madison felt that this relationship was worth salvaging, a simple “I’m sorry that you felt disrespected by the way our first meeting transpired- I truly hope we can move past this and that I can show you how much I really DO love your son,” wouldn’t have taken much to deliver.
Instead, we leave on this contentious note, and Barbara is left trying desperately to convince Clare to abandon the Bachelorette title and date her son instead.
Until next season…if you need me, I’ll be filling the void left by The Bachelor and Love is Blind by desperately trying to find a way to watch Juan Pablo’s season.
