It’s Fantasy Suite week! Peter and the final three women are heading to Australia this week, but Madison makes it clear that she doesn’t want Peter exploring any bush down under.
As much as I don’t reeeally want to dive into this because I already spent a fair amount of time addressing Madison’s choice to not divulge her virginity, I did find myself going back and forth on my opinion on whether or not Madison did really issue Peter an ultimatum. So in an effort to form a decisive stance, I broke down the text of this consequential exchange.
Madison: “I owe it to you to be upfront and honest with you about that…but that is really important to me.”
Peter: “So what are you like saying, life if I were to just like spend the night with someone else, this is not something that you can do?”
Madison: “Um…Gee, it’s gonna be really hard for me if that’s the case, but I-I-I just…”
Peter: “So that’s a no?”
Madison: “I just like, I don’t, I don’t know. I like, I don’t know how to like answer that, ‘cause like I don’t – I don’t want to , like tell you, like…”
Peter: “Well, I mean, I kind of need to know – like, that’s I don’t know what you’re trying to tell me right now. If, if you want me to like end this all with…like what are you, what are you asking?”
Madison: “No, I’m not asking that. I just..”
Peter: “I feel like it’s not necessarily fair to the relationships that I have in there. But I don’t want that to get you down in any way and make you feel like I think any less of what we have.”
Madison: “I don’t know, I just…I don’t like – I don’t want to tell you, like yes or no.”
Peter: “Well know, I mean, that’s obviously something that I think I need to know right now…Are you saying that you don’t want me to spend…or you wouldn’t be able to keep this going with me if I spent the night with anyone else? Just so I can be clear.”
Madison: “In no way do I want to like give you an ultimate, or like tell you what you can do or can’t do at all, like and I hope you know that, and I hope you know my heart. Um…but I don’t know. For me, like actions speak louder than words and I’m just really big on that.”
Peter: “But you know how much you mean to me.”
Madison: “I know.”
Peter: “Okay….I feel like you’re sad right now. I’m crazy about you.”
Madison: “Me too.”
Peter: “Okay? I feel good about us.”
So upon reviewing the transcripts, I think it’s pretty clear that the description “ultimatum” would not hold up in a court of law. Madison goes out of her way to debunk that categorization, and to be fair, she never explicitly says that she will leave if he sleeps with anyone else, even when Peter presses her.
She IS testing him though. Basically, she is expressing her strong preference that he act in accordance with her wishes, ending with the ominous “actions speak louder than words” as an indication that Peter’s words of affirmation aren’t going to get him far with her if he decides he wants to pursue physical touch to its fullest extent.
Obviously this puts Peter in a very difficult decision. Peter eventually admits to being intimate with at at least one of the other two contestants, and if Hannah B’s Fantasy Suite date is any indication, it’s safe to say this was always his planned course of action. If Peter were to stall the progression of other relationships solely to respect Madison’s request, he would essentially be proving that Madison’s relationship preferences hold more weight than Hannah Ann’s and/or Victoria’s. It would serve as a pretty clear indicator that Madison was his top pick, just shy of eliminating the other two women and running off with Madison on the spot.
Based on Peter’s persistence on hearing Madison commit to whether or not the other Fantasy Suites would be a dealbreaker for her, it does seem like me may have actually considered abandoning them if an ultimatum had actually been posed. But since it wasn’t, he carried on with business as usual with the two women who have said that they’re falling in love with him, in hopes that Madison would be able to move past it solely based on the assurance that he “feels good about” them.
Personally, I don’t see the point of Madison doing all of this. To me, the more important conversation to have is to reveal that you have no intention of having sex before marriage and ensure that Peter is on the same page with that. There has never been any guise of this relationship being exclusive, so you’re really not in a place where you can dictate what he does with other women. So unless you’re truly willing to remove yourself from the situation if he sleeps with other women, this just seems like an empty threat that created an exhausting amount of subsequent drama.
I truly wish that were the final word on the topic, but in an unprecedented stroke of evil genius the Producers crammed the top three into one suite to ensure that Hannah Ann and Victoria would have ample time to share their feelings on Madison’s choice.
Hannah Ann
Hannah Ann is the first of the sister wives contestants to go on her date with Peter, and it’s safe to guess her intentions aren’t exactly aligned with Madison’s.
All innuendo aside, even the way that she speaks about the future is vastly different in tone.
Needless to say, this is a sharp contrast from Madison, who is threatening to walk away from the whole process. I commend Hannah Ann for being so mature and confident in addressing a situation that is less than ideal, to say the least. That’s not to say that Madison is addressing things in a way that’s immature – in this case the contrast between these two women is more indicative of a fundamental difference in their beliefs.
Victoria F
After Hannah Ann’s Fantasy Suite date, we move on to Victoria’s, which Peter starts out by single-handily doing his part to reinforce the stereotype that men like crazy women.
It really does seem like Peter’s judgement has been addled by this relationship.
Once you’re past the honeymoon phase a relationship is PRIMARILY communication. Yet Peter is glossing over this key relationship element as if he and Victoria can perpetually exist in a Bachelor-like reality where exhilarating helicopter rides and the thrill of the Fantasy Suite can serve as stand-ins for true intimacy. Even Victoria realizes this:
On top of that, he can’t even seem to reconcile his interpretation of her commitment – does she walk away or does she not?
I really did try to listen to Peter’s anecdotes about their relationship for beacon of insight into which traits Peter finds so irresistible about Victoria, and what drives his confidence in their relationship. But each interview presented nothing but weak rationalizations of his decision to move forward with her; statements that “when it’s great it’s great” (which is literally something people in abusive relationships say, whether that abuse is physical or emotional) without examples of what makes it so great for him. When he does finally sit down with Victoria to discuss their relationship over dinner, he says “our chemistry is insane, and we have so much fun together” – the second thing being the same adjective he repeatedly harped on Kelley for using to describe their relationship.
Madison
Naturally Madison receives the final Fantasy Suite date, to ensure Peter is presented with not one, but TWO opportunities for indiscretion prior.
At the start of their date, you would have no idea Madison’s been circling the hotel suite in anguish over their last discussion – in keeping with the traditional Bachelor playbook she is reserving the daytime portion of their date for fun and exploration, and relegating the relationship-defining conversation for dinner time. The pattern makes perfect sense when you think about it – clearly the contestants aren’t served any real substantive food at “dinner,” so assuming you’re already a bit hangry, and potentially a drink or two in, what else is there to do but bring up past traumas and grievances?
The daytime portion does provide a perfect opportunity for a visual metaphor to represent Peter and Madison’s struggle, embodied by the ascendance of a skyscraper.
When the dinner portion does begin, Madison finally reveals her choice to save herself for marriage, and also clarifies her understanding and acceptance of the fact that Peter has (quite famously) decided to take a different path with his sexuality. When Peter follows up for clarification on what this means for her expectations of him and their relationship, she finally draws the line in the sand that he had been asking about during their rose ceremony discussion:
Honestly, Madison’s justification for not wanting an engagement under these circumstances isn’t crazy – she states that she feels uncomfortable accepting a proposal from a guy who slept with other people just a week prior. When you think about it outside of the context of this show, that would be an INSANE scenario. But to say that she can’t continue with the relationship at all, even if they were to take the time to get to know one another after this before making the decision to get engaged to one another, is where it comes across as extreme.
Needless to say, Madison does not join Peter in the Fantasy Suite, and we’re left wondering if she’s decided to put an end to the whole experience entirely.
Frontrunner:
Madison : Honestly, I feel like the fact that Madison has removed herself from the situation makes her more desirable.
Outstanding Questions:
Who would have thought that we’d ever get to a place where there was a 33% chance that Peter’s mom was actually referring to Victoria F in this now infamous scene?
